I said I wanted to write a book or something for you guys and that’s exactly what this is.
Of all the friends I’ve ever made the promise of not losing, I was certain I wouldn’t lose you. It was my two months with Parker it should have been a happy day all the way through. It wasn’t. I was coming home from his house and you texted me saying you needed to talk to me as soon as possible. You had been dodging my “I love you’s” for months. I really wanted it to be good but I knew it wasn’t.
How could it be?
I got home and called you. Making the mistake of sitting around my family for our conversation, I quickly had to leave and lock myself in the bathroom. I sat there fiddling with anything, anything to keep me sane. You didn’t want to say it but it was all my fault. If only I had been more observant, if only I had been there a little more, if only I wasn’t so worried about myself. My heart shattered as you said you loved me but I was bad for you and you needed to take a step away. I understood.
Now, my whole views on love have changed. Now, everything hurts. Now, I wish I could go back in the past more than I ever have before. Nothing will change the fact that I love you. If I can only be certain about one thing in my life it’s that, you will always hold some portion of my bandaged up, heart.
With love and remorse,
I go to rip the paper out of my notebook and place in the box neatly placed under my bed. That box was the one and only thing I kept neat, all around me were piles of disregarded junk. I haven’t had much energy to officially clean my room but, I’ll be better one day. I had just taken the lid of the box when a Skype call came through on my desktop. I rushed to answer, quickly discarding of the notebook.
“Ing, you’ve been crying, what’s wrong?”
“Tad, I haven’t been crying, it’s allergy seasons for me.”
“That is a load of crap, you don’t get allergies til April and it’s only the 2nd of February.” What could I expect from someone that has worked for two years to get to learn everything about me, Thaddeus was amazing, and his devotion is probably what made him my best friend coming into high school. I had the same devotion, I knew practically everything about him, and I also knew I could tell him anything.
“I’ve just been overthinking,” I say, “About things that don’t need to be constantly brought up, but yet I do this to myself anyway. Tad, why do I do this to myself?”
“You just don’t want to make the same mistake, Ingrid I promise I will never leave you.”
“That reassuring that exactly what Emma told me.”
After what seemed like an eternity, but it was merely a few seconds in Skype time I heard the most reassuring thing. “I love you with all my heart and even if you don’t believe it it’s true and will always be true.” You never know what’s going to have the biggest impact on you. For me, it was someone I never wanted to leave saying that they loved me.
“I love you too Tad, please never forget that. Thank you for calling but I have to go to bed. I’ll see you tomorrow at school.”
“Ing, nothing will ever make me forget that, sleep well, see you at school.” With that, he hung up and I pulled out the box and finished what I was doing before I was so rudely interrupted.
I hope you liked it. I did add text to the picture, however, I do NOT own the picture all rights go to the proper owners.
See you tomorrow hopefully,